I dont want this

Its been five days, five long days....I still have 2 other posts that I can not finish...will not finish ...this is too hard for me...the hardest thing, knowing that it has not been hard for you at all. So much for your friendship talk, guess the wind blew those away.

Are you hurt? I would be too...but I thought it was the only way, I was wrong, it has been harder, but I guess for the better because I have realized, finally, that to you I was never important.

I dont want this anymore, you hurt so much, I dont want to feel what I do, for someone that never appreciated it. I dont want to love you, because you dont deserve my love, but how do I tell that to a brain that doesnt stop thinking of you, doesnt stop hurting.

I still dont understand why this has been so hard. I DONT KNOW YOU, I never touched you, never heard your voice, NEVER....but does "love have an explanation? I dont know...all I can say is that love shouldnt hurt this much ...I hope you find love one day, and that someone makes you believe in it again....because I didnt think it existed....until I met you ....

Now...after looking for it ...I dont want it....because it hurts....

....chelitta