Last Day of the First Month of 2012

Well here we are on 01/31/2012 ...

and?...well nothing. You know how during the last days of the years people go around and make "resolutions" and they start off the new year well but slowly forget about them. I stopped that like 10 years ago, they were always the same thing...go to the gym, lose weight, get a better job, home etc...eventually it was just to just damn survive...

Well in these 31 days nothing has really changed...well one thing has...my phone has stopped ringing from the creditors, my checking account hasn't bounced. I'm still not able to breathe in relief but at least now I know I have enough to buy my groceries. Thankfully the weather has held up and the super cold weather has gone away so I have turned off the heater, the house/room stays warm so we are OK. I probably wont be out of the woods until the end of the year but for now I am OK.

I have a teenie tiny washer/dryer in the apt now, but probably wont be using them, will make my water bill super high, cuz I will probably have to do 20 loads since they are so little, I don't understand how management thinks that it will be helpful...oh well.

I am seriously thinking of buying a mobile home by the end of the year, my Lease will be up in January...hopefully that it will be possible. Now, if you live the the south/east or around those places I know what you are thinking...a mobile home? Seriously? ...Well let me tell you guys I now know what you mean. Before moving to VA I didn't know why these "homes" were seen badly, here in CA mobile homes and their "parks" are really nice and look like regular homes...but then I moved to  the East Coast and saw the huge difference...so don't worry...I'm not taking a step back but a step forward...we will see what life brings on...but those are my "big plans" for this year...Well not including my 3 week vacation to El Salvador for which I am already making all the necessary arrangements, I'm taking Denisse with me ...and well it only took me 2 years to convince her father to let me take her. I still feel that he will say I changed my mind...cross your fingers that doesn't happen...

well that's whats up ...

...chelitta

Still not happening

Well its been a while for this blog too...



Well...lets see...

Last time I think I was broken hearted and what not...well ..I still am ...LMAO!

It's gotten better though, I don't wake up thinking about what couldn't be nor fall asleep thinking about it. There are some days, that I do, but each day its less and less. I am no longer eager to jump into a relationship, yeah I realize that some days I wish I could just get laid and that's it, but then I realize that its not really what I need, even if I really do NEED it...teehee.

I feel lonely and some days I wish I had someone that would just hold me and tell me everything will be ok, specially right now when there are days that I feel worthless. However, I don't want to rush into anything and I am really scared. My heart is still broken, and I don't want to break it any further. So for now ...I'm not looking or wanting anything, if something happens it will, if it doesn't oh well, I had fun when I needed to.

Work is ok...I still pretty much hate it, but for now, its keeping me in this apartment and paying a little bit of the bills...

Well thats it for now...nothing much is going on in my personal life...so I dunno when I will be back here...but thanx for reading :)

...chelitta