You were right

Well Hello there...long time...very very long time...lets undust this place...lets make it happen again...:) ...Its time...its time to move on...to be free...to spread my wings and fly again...to wherever I please...

*sigh*

Ok ...maybe not ...teehee...

So anyway...for whoever reads this ..prolly no one ..but thats ok ...I have officially left twitter..well kinda...I check in daily ..to see if all my favies are ok ..and then ...leave...in and out with a quickness ...before I get tempted to tweet something ...anyway..lets get to the nitty gritty ...

I got an email...from a friend...I havent heard from her...in well ..the time ive been back in Cali. So about 3 years? anyway ..it was an email that I never thought I would read...she and her husband are getting divorced...and she pointed out..."you were right"...and even though I always knew I would be it kinda hurt ...because I honestly never said what I said ...in an ill way...I said it because it is what I believe in ...

Now let me go back to that night...me and my damn memory...I swear if I get Alzheimers that will be the death of me...

We were at Applebee's ...I was having a Long Island, and she was having a Margarita...we started talking and she asked me ...Do you shave...I looked at her kinda funny ..and said uhh yeah ...doesnt everybody? ...and then it hit me...she wasnt asking if I shaved my legs ..or my armpits...she was asking ...if I SHAVED...and I said ..OH! ..and she blushed..and I said ..yeah ...why? I then she dropped the news...she didnt ...and her husband wanted her to and she was a prude that wouldnt do it.

Now..for those of you reading this and that know me...you all know that once she said that a million things went through my head...and one of them being...if she doesnt "do" a simple thing as SHAVE to please he man...she isnt doing much otherwise either...so then I asked her ..why? The answer she gave me ...floored me..."God meant sex to be for procreation not for pleasure" I went WTF!!!! ...

And so I laid it out to her straight...Well ..you ask God what to do when your man finds someone else to take care of him and please him when you dont. If you dont take care of your man ...someone else will.

hence...the you were right...he cheated on her...after she found out she tried everything to please him but it was too late...he had already tasted the different fruits that were out  there..and as hard as this woman tried...she couldnt do or give him what the others could...because whatever she did ..wouldnt be because she wanted to ...it would be to keep him...so she would never enjoy it ...

She wrote asking me for advice...what I wrote back was not what she wanted to read...I told her .it was time to let him go...because once a man cheats...god damnit ...he will do it again and again and again ...no matter how many times he promises, no matter what he does..he will do it....she wrote back...I love him...and then I said..all the more reason to let him go...

She of course not knowing what I have been through recently ...wrote back saying you dont understand what it feels like...not to be loved by the man you love...you dont know what it is like knowing he loves someone else...that he is with someone else...you are asking me to let go of my heart, you are asking me to break my heart in a million pieces....and let him go...because you dont know what it is....

*sigh*

I wrote back...I am telling you ..to let go of the man you love because he is happy with someone else..and when someone loves another person, even if your heart breaks, you have to let them go...I do know what it is...please do not ask why or how...because I cant and will not tell you...YET...i am not ready to talk about it ....when the day comes..I will and then you will see that I can feel your pain even miles away...please..do it for yourself...and for your son...let him go...be happy that he is happy...give yourself the place you deserve...cry..every fuckin day until it stops hurting ..and dont be ashamed that you are...you be proud that you are hurting ..because the day you stop hurting ...you will be much strnger than what you ever thought you would be ...

It gets hard...to know that your words become reality...I truly never meant them to become that...but just as those infamous words came true ..I also know that what I said will too..she will get over it..she will one day wake up and see the light at the end of the tunnel...and have the damn strength to let go and move on...to keep going...even if the pain is still there...

and you guys know why...

because I did...

....chelitta