As I lay here... with fireworks in the background... an anxious dog in its crate gnawing away at the metal ... a sad kid in bed worrying about the dog ... a hurt in my kidney ... over all fatigue ...and memories of my broken heart... I just keep thinking about walking out the door.... leaving it all behind ...
Selfish... yes. I haven't been that in a long time. Maybe even never. I just can't... I don't have it in me anymore. For what? For nothing... I feel like nothing. I am nothing. I don't make a difference in lives. I am not important. I dont want to be. The only thing I wish I could know before I leave ... is true love... but that's not for me.
So I will leave. Leave it all behind and walk away... not looking back... I am tired of feeling like I dont belong. There is no place for me in this world.. and probably even the universe. A little piece of me ... maybe the best of me will live on ... in the only good that has come from me.... my child....
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