I have my closure

It has been more than four years. More than four years since my heart was broken and the pieces left on the floor to be picked up.

 

I have thought of the man, that broke my heart more often than not. I loved him for a long time. Yes its hard to believe one can fall in love with a man that one has never met. It happened to me though. I don't know what was of him. If he lives or has died. If he got married to the woman he loved. If that woman ever existed. I don't know, and now I can say I don't care.

 

I don't love him anymore. The experience has taught me a lot. Things shouldn't be forced. He was right. Some people were never meant to be lovers. Him and I weren't. I am happy we weren't.  Him and I would have never worked out. We come from different places. Different times. Different ideology.

 

He was wrong on one thing though. It didn't taken someone else to get him out of my heart. Time took care of that. Yes I still think of him, but there is nothing left in my heart for him. My heart is mine again. Its not yet fixed but it is almost there. 

 

I don't know if I will ever love like that again, if I will ever risk telling a man my feelings. I don't know if I will ever find another man, that I can give my heart to again. I don't know. The only thing I know, is that I am free again. Free to love, to feel, to want.

 

I finally have my closure. I can finally finish the chapter and move on. I don't know if I will close this blog. Reading my past doesn't help but I guess closing it wont erase it either...

 

 

...chelitta