You know, when you read about suicide victims, and how people usually say "They didnt seem suicidal", "they looked so happy and cheerful". Well .. I have news for you guys, we are not happy. We appear to be, because at some point, people that we thought we could trust and count on, made us feel or actually told us that our words hurt them or annoyed them. So we silenced our cry for help.
Kind of sad when you think about it. Maybe, that was their way of feeling better, maybe saying "i feel like dying" was there way of saying, Its not a good day today, please let me know u care, even if I act like u will be fine w/o me, let me know that is not the case. Yes, we need to be TOLD that, we need to FEEL that this is the truth and that people are not only saying that. Instead, we are told that we make others feel bad by saying that, well how selfish is that. Excuse us for not wanting to live, for thinking that there is no other way out. Excuse us for our chemical imbalance, and for coming into your lives.
Maybe social media has played a role into the whole thing. It is easier to appear cheerful, its easier to put a ":)" when u are actually ":'(" ..just so not bother people. Its easier to say you are fine when someone isnt looking in your eyes to know that you are lying. We prefer to pretend we are alright, as to not annoy you or push you away, because sometimes you are the only thing we have... and you made us feel like we bothered you...
So ... next time... someone u know decides what people refer as to the "easy way out", and you think to yourself, but they were so happy, or I never would've thought they would do that, think about the times that maybe they did try to reach out... but they were annoying to you..
... chelitta
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